The Short of It: BERLIN

Grittiness. Alternative Scenes. Art. I love big cities for some of these reasons, and these same reasons are also why I was SO amped to visit Berlin with my best friend, Amanda. When planning our summer Eurotrip, she informed me that we’d have exactly 24 hours free on our summer trip in which we we could squeeze one final city. She asked how I felt about Berlin, and I practically jumped through the phone yelling an emphatic, “YES!”

Yes, it is fair that I need more than twenty four hours to properly explore ANY city, especially one as expansive as Berlin. But, this is a tale of what was and not what I wish had been!

Lodging Bliss.

Pure exhaustion. After sleeping in sweaty hostels and pulling all-nighters for two weeks prior to Berlin, we canceled our reservation at yet another hostel that we booked in Berlin. Instead, we splurged on a sky-rise hotel room which was pure heaven. The bathroom was spacious and it was so freaking nice to have some privacy and not have to share the shower and toilet with strangers. Our hotel room was SPOTLESS and had a sleek, modern, aesthetic. The bed was one where you literally sink into like a cloud. In fact, it was so cozy that we spent about an hour of our already short amount of time just laying in it and contemplating sleeping instead of seeing Berlin.

Looking back

I can recognize that this hour of lounging around was a massive waste of time, but all travelers can understand that level of exhaustion, I’m sure! Our brains hurt both from too much drinking and museum-seeing. Our bodies were aching from walking all over three cities prior to arriving in Berlin. Therefore, a nap sounded incredibly divine. However, we begrudgingly peeled ourselves out of bed and trekked down to reception to start our journey. I realize that part of my post is written in a somewhat manner. BUT, that’s because I REALLY want you to get a feel for how lazy and useless I felt in those moments in the hotel.

Worst Experience with Currywurst

This section of writing below is a Runner Up for an Academy Award for Best Plot in an Action Film: “Not Without My Weenie”

I’ll be honest, I had one mission when we got to Berlin, and it was food. I’m sure you’re all shocked. Whenever I travel, I NEED to try the food specialties of the land. When inquiring about Berlin, I’d heard about curry-wurst repeatedly. I was told that curry-wurst was an exotic weenie that would allegedly emit magic into my life. How could I claim to have been to Berlin and not tried some? Well, that almost was the case. I came uncomfortably close to not having the fortune to try this famed food of Berlin. Would you believe me if I said it took us decent looking ladies at least six hours to get some sausage from off the street? Do you like that I’m starting to turn this into a provocative joke?

To start, we had only a few hours to utilize the bus tour passes we had just bought from our hotel. We hadn’t eaten all day, but found a curry-wurst stand right by our hotel. Unfortunately, it was closed and not opening until later at night. We didn’t want to spend the afternoon only looking for satisfying sausages… even though this WAS a girl’s trip [another weenie joke, don’t worry, I’ll keep them coming.] So, we settled for Mexican food before our bus tour. While the burrito bowl was pretty legit, I didn’t fly all the way to Germany for rice and beans. Mexican food can be found everywhere, I wanted the real. local. deal.

Moving on

The bus tour on which we were embarked wound up being one of those hop on/hop off deals. At each stop we would frantically search for curry-wurst stands, and DID them. HOWEVER — Big disappointment, NONE OF THEM TOOK CREDIT CARDS! Seriously, after four or times of being told, “cash only” it felt like nowhere in Berlin took credit! Aren’t Germans supposed ot be efficient AF?

Every stop on the bus tour became a rush of excitement, followed by a huge let down. I pleaded with the last curry-wurst kiosk owner that we encountered. “Please, please tell me that you take credit cards and that I can taste your incredible sausage,” I begged desperately. Even though I’d made the funniest wiener joke in history, he wouldn’t oblige me. “No, cash only,” he said, as if he took delight in our disappointment. I had seen enough.

Still following the plan

I was so angry that my vision was red — as red as the ketchup I’d seen pictured on curry-wurst. Visions of flipping his kiosk over, dumping curry powder on his head, and drowning him in  his own condiments filled my mind.

What the actual fuck? Fine. At this point we’d made such a big deal about finding curry-wurst that we made a long trek to find an ATM in order to retrieve cash, even though there were seemingly NONE around. We walked in the sweltering, oppressive, sun for ten minutes looking for a cash machine. The only thing that kept me going and from breaking down mentally was the thought of finally…FINALLY purchasing the food I was now obsessed over trying.

Yes, any minute now, I would be noshing on sausages galore in Berlin.

We arrived at the dirty ATM machine, ripped open our wallets and… we both realized we had left our debit cards at the hotel. If you’ve ever seen a toddler having a heinous meltdown, the kind that makes grown adults shiver with fear, then I need not describe my reaction to this unfortunate event. I was PISSED.

Eventually, after walking all the way back to our hotel from the East Side Gallery, we finally hit the curry-wurst stand by our hotel, right as it opened. We put in two orders and I shifted anxiously from foot to foot waiting for our food. I practically stuck my head in the window of the stand at one point, as I breathed heavily and awkwardly awaiting. The cook hurried along and practically threw our food onto the ledge, utterly sick of my shit.

Culmination!

There it was…curry-wurst. I quickly snapped a photo (hence the shitty quality below) and dove in. After a few bites, we made a striking realization. From the bottom of my heart, I want you all to know, that curry-wurst is a hot dog, covered in curry powder with some ketchup on top. There is no magic, there is no other ingredient. HOWEVER, I love hot dogs and therefore was not disappointed in the least.

I Like Big Bus, I Cannot Lie. ‘Specially When It’s Hot Outside.

Earlier in the day, we asked the receptionist at our hotel the best way to see the city quickly and she suggested the big red bus tour, so we did that. It took a long time to find the bus stop closest to our hotel, but once we did, the tour was enjoyable for the most part. Each stop was centrally located to a major site and we were able to see quite a lot in our short time. If you’ve ever done the hop on/off bus tour, it comes equipped with earbuds that allow you to learn more about each point on the trail.

The only hiccups were that there was one instance where we had to wait over 20 minutes for the bus to come pick us up, we went into a cafe to buy sodas and snacks while we waited and SURPRISE, much like every curry dealer in town, they didn’t take credit. Berlin really takes the idea of “living history” to heart evidenced by the fact that everyone acted as though a credit card machine were some new-fangled piece of equipment from the future.

It is getting better

It was almost as annoying as when you visit a historical restoration in any part of the US and the people there all really act like we’re in the 1800’s. You know, like when you ask them to take a photo of you and they respond with, “oh, what is this device here? A camera you say? I’ve never seen one before.” WELL, I handed you sixty dollars to get into this fucking settlement and you didn’t bat an eye even though since it’s the 1800’s it should only cost me a nickel to get in this joint. At our last stop, we missed the last bus back to our hotel which sucked big curry-wurst.

How bad can it possibly get?

You see, we were having such a great time at the East Side gallery that we had to walk from there all the way back to our hotel. There was an unprecedented heat wave that day and each step back to our lodging felt more and more impossible considering how exhausted we already were.

Public transportation was nearly impossible to figure out. We tried to catch every cab that we saw, but each time that we tried to flag down one down, they ignored us and whirled past. We tried to ask locals for help, all of whom also ignored us. At this point, I was pretty sure that I disliked Berlin. The people for the most part were cold. Berlin overall just didn’t seem like an intuitive or comprehensive city that a tourist could easily navigate. Berlin felt mean and everything felt aloof, not ot mention impractical. My best friend and I both became immensely frustrated halfway through our walk and couldn’t fathom that we still had SO much further to go.

Finally…

An off duty cab driver pulled into a home driveway right in front of us. We begged him to give us a lift, and while he seemed reluctant, thank GOD his wife met him in the doorway and ordered him to take us to our hotel. While he at first seemed annoyed, evidenced by him reminding us at least twenty five times that he was off duty and that he shouldn’t be doing this, he eventually warmed up.

In Berlin that apparently meant his speaking a little bit about a topic other than how we were ruining his weekend and life. We had to pay through a ride sharing app once we reached the hotel, and since there was no WI-FI in the car, Amanda had to go inside, download the app, figure it out, and pay, all while I sat hostage in his car. Again, no cash…not even credit cards, just this random app for payment. I ask you…WHERE IS THE EFFICIENCY in this allegedly efficient city and country?

Check Point Charlie.

The men at Check Point Charlie only want one thing, and it’s your wallet.

Sure, Check Point Charlie is touristy, but if one could squint their eyes a bit, it was pretty cool to see a small glimpse into what history looked like in Berlin’s communist era. I’d been really excited to see CPC, and I definitely relished in “nerding out” upon our arrival. For those who don’t know, Check Point Charlie was the most frequented crossing point at the Berlin Wall between East and West Berlin. It became deeply symbolic of the Cold War. It still, in many ways is symbolic of that era, I suppose.

Today, you can take photos with the acting guards there and imagine what it must have been like to have to cross from one side to the other. We didn’t pay to get our photos with the guards, but we watched as other people did. The guards seemed to be really funny and enjoy interacting with guests. Allegedly you can get your passport stamped for an additional fee, but if this is true, I’d imagine it might become problematic and confusing when other countries see the stamp. Oh this stamp? It’s from a fake country called Check Point Charlie.

Iconic Berlin: Brandenburg Gate.

One of the most iconic landmarks of the city! It’s located in the middle of the city, so it’s a difficult site to miss. Built in the late 1700s, Brandenburg Gate has seen so much of history. King Friedrich Willhelm II commissioned its construction, and it’s modeled after the Propylaea on the Acropolis in Athens, Greece. Even if you’ve never visited the Acropolis, you might immediately recognize the architectural style of Brandenburg Gate as “neo-classical.” After the fall of the Berlin Wall, people saw the Brandenburg Gate as a symbol of unity within the nation.

Iconic Berlin: East Side Gallery.

Probably the best part of my short visit! How does one describe the East Side Gallery? Eerie? Grateful? Surreal? All of this. If you were unaware, the East Side Gallery is the longest, remaining, section of the Berlin wall and is covered in socio-political artwork.

Our tour told us stories of people jumping over the wall at the eleventh hour to escape what they felt would be the impending horrors of communism. We learned about the politics of both sides of the spectrum. Normally when I think of heartbreak and devastation, my mind goes to the developing countries I’ve visited. I felt those stories here, many residents lived through this era.

The East Side Gallery was everything I had hoped Berlin as a whole would be. The art is imaginative, captivating, provocative, and utterly beautiful and edgy. It embodied all of the things I love about creativity and is a pure testament to the power and importance of artists’ abilities to both impact and encapsulate politics and society. We did spend many hours here both taking photos, and taking in the history around us, but I could have spent many more.

Top Notch Drinks.

All I’d heard while planning our short trip to Berlin was that the city had incredible nightlife scene. As we walked around a night, I wondered, where then, was the nightlife? I realize we didn’t examine the entire city — it’s far too large. But, nearly every bar we walked past was closed! I kept imagining edgy basement clubs with a leather clad crowd who had held out since the Studio 54 days. I imagined elegant lounges entirely devoted to themes like the Roaring 20’s. Where were they?

We wound up visiting two spots that kept frequenting the “must see” bars list that we read. The two watering holes, while thankfully open, were both nearly empty. First, we visited the Stagger Lee with which I fell passionately in love. Stagger Lee serves a 1920’s aesthetic in a truly authentic, and not at all kitschy way. If you’ve ever seen Boardwalk Empire, you would think you have wandered onto the set, it’s that well decorated. It unequivocally takes you back in time.

The drink menu is extensive and expensive, but I need all readers to know, that this is where I’ve had the best drinks of my lifetime ever, period. The cocktails are imaginative and top notch, every drink I threw back was pure perfection and artistry in a glass.

Wrap-up

To wrap up the evening we had a night-cap at the N.N. Train Cocktail Bar. It’s definitely one of the more unique cocktail houses I’ve ever visited as the bar is literally an old train car.

The ambiance is vintage, sexy, and definitely not to be missed, and drinks were very reasonable as well. We were able to sit comfortably on Adirondack chairs outside as we enjoyed our last cocktail of our last big girls trip. That memory will always mean so much to me.

The End of an Era.

Amanda and I have seen so much of the world, and I can’t explain to you how much our lives have been changed by all of the traveling we have done together. We both got married several months before this trip, and while very hard to admit, we just knew that this was going to be our last ever big girl’s trip.

One month later I was pregnant, expecting my baby in a month’s time, and Amanda is saving up for a house on Long Island, and those are our priorities right now, and that’s OK because we did everything we wanted to for so long prior to “adulting.” I didn’t want that night in Berlin to end, as exhausted as I was. We spent a long time both equally talking about all the good memories we had shared around the world, and sitting in silence, quietly contemplating what the future would bring.

Thoughts on Berlin.

I’m glad I got to see Berlin. Since I’m a history fanatic, I’m so grateful that I got to see some pieces of history that are otherwise only available in textbooks and documentaries to most people. Glad I can say that yes, I’ve seen some of Germany and got a basic feel for the zeitgeist of city.

I DESPERATELY and STILL DO want to love Berlin. But, I have to say, I left less than impressed.

I don’t completely blame Berlin for my time there. It was short, poorly planned, and I was too exhausted to put any real effort into my experience. However, my less than warm feelings toward the city are also reported by people who do spend an adequate amount of time there. There are many cities (New York, Paris, Chicago, Seville, Lisbon, etc) where you step right into the rhythm of the culture, hype, and reputation.

For example, when New York promises tall buildings, hot night clubs, top restaurants, and history – you really don’t have to walk all over the city trying to “find” those things, it’s all around you. In Berlin, I felt that the city is so spread thin that everything falls flat. It was a lot of, “Oh, OK, here’s the one building I recognize from photos, where is everything else? Four hours later…OH OK…here’s that one bar…oh and it’s closed.”

I’m eager to return because I want to do it right before I add it to my “underwhelming destinations” list. So hoping that the Berlin of my dreams is real and that I was maybe too fatigued to see it. I’m more than interested in hearing everyone else’s thoughts on Berlin!