Prague Castle Tour – No Rest for the Wicked

The Weary Travelers.

Going on a Prague Castle tour can be exhausting. It would be almost subhuman to say that such an old historical site isn’t enjoyable, but hear me out.

Much like the Tower of London or the Royal Alcazar in Seville, having knowledge of how vast and sprawling Prague Castle is unfairly sets it up for some resentment. Especially from already weary travelers, and super especially in the middle of an unprecedented heat wave.

Prague Castle is humongous, and the lay out is as confusing as possible.

There are a ton of circled “highlights” on a map, of which you are spending an unfair amount of time trying to actually find those places. Meanwhile, you are shouldering and contending with hundreds of other sweaty tourists.

With that being said, I salivate at the opportunity for wandering into historical sites and getting lost in imagining what life was like so long ago. Prague Castle offers so many opportunities to do just that, and that was my saving grace. Here are some things I wish I knew or did differently before arriving to the Prague Castle tour:

• Research. Even a little bit of research would have made a big difference. I didn’t check closing times, so we arrived very late in the day with little time to spare. About an hour of that time was spent figuring out where and how to purchase a ticket.
• Get familiar with a map. It would be wise to sit with a map before your Prague Castle tour and figure out what you want to see the most. I think having some familiarity with the expansive layout would have saved us a ton of time and frustration.
• Self-care. The day before our visit to the castle we had gotten very little sleep, barely ate in the morning, and didn’t bring water with us. All of this was a recipe for disaster. There are some experiences where self-care is less important (a canal cruise for instance). But trudging all day long at a gigantic castle is not one of them! Rest up, hydrate, and eat a good meal!

There were some personal gems that I really enjoyed despite my honest intro. Here they are!

Golden Lane.

Golden Lane is home to preserved buildings which demonstrate what life was like in various capacities from the 16th century until World War II.

Of particular interest was the home (number 14) of Matylda Prusova (Madame Themes), an herbalist and famed fortune teller. Ms. Prusova lost her son during the first World War. She also predicted the downfall of the Third Reich at one point during WW2. Because of this, she was arrested by the Gestapo once they caught wind of her prediction. She later died during her interrogation.

I have an inexplicable affinity for fortune tellers of the past. I spend time conjuring up what conversations they may have had with their clients. We live in an age where nearly all answers to every question are available in a nanosecond at our fingertips. I wonder what it may have been like to be so yearning to know something, that you visit a mysterious fortune teller to gain information or a better understanding. I wonder what kind of life a woman with such a unique profession lived.

Her small home contains tarot cards and books on the cosmos. Definitely make sure you stop by to see it on your Prague Castle tour.

Defenestration of Prague

Defenestration means to throw someone out of a window. Seriously. And this is exactly what happened (at least twice, possibly a third time.) The most famous defenestration of Prague takes place in 1618 and was a precursor to the Thirty Years War. 

From the top floor of the Prague Castle, a group of hostile Bohemian activists threw three Catholic officials from a window, intending to kill them. Miraculously, they did not die and left with minor aches and bruises. The Catholics praised this as divine intervention but in reality, a cushion of manure broke their fall. 

We saw the window where the incident took place and were able to learn a lot more about the specifics. I recommend looking at the window from several angles and having some background knowledge on the incident. This way you can more wholly immerse yourself when imagining this incredible moment in history. 

Get the Audio Guide.

The amount of things to see on a Prague Castle tour is beyond one’s wildest imagination. I really don’t think you could see it all in a lifetime. Luckily, there is an audio guide which I am a huge fan of. It limits the amount of reading you must do and keeps your interest as it narrates a story. It offers the opportunity for an in-depth explanation of the exhibits that you have a particular interest in. My best friend, on the other hand, hates audio guides. I am truly surprised I’m not telling you about the defenestration of the audio guide. Speaking of which, you must fill out a “potential criminal application” because if you do not return your guide to the office by a specific time, the police will begin the task of finding and arresting you. That’s a real threat BTW!

The Rosenberg Palace.

As already overstated enough, I enjoy being among historical places with a story. I enjoy imagining what it might be like to be the people who once inhabited or spent time there. This was especially true at the Rosenburg Palace. Although the palace has been around since 1545, Empress Maria Therese founded the Institute of Noble Women in 1753 as a home where unmarried, aristocratic women could live if they had fallen on hard times. 

As I walked the halls, I tried to imagine the lives of those women and what their ‘hard times’ may have looked like. I imagined how they were dressed and what they would do throughout the day. I considered who they loved or were romantically interested in, and how this might have come at odds with the strict rules in place at the palace. The site is incredibly ornate and reeks of the aristocracy, an aspect of history with which fascinates me. If you’re any kind of imaginative, stop by!

Big Old Books.

God only knows which part of Disney Prague World we found this in. It was a selection of replicas of the castle’s record books. One such book (the one with a skull on it) is a record book of all the names of those who fell victim to the plague. Although the books are far away from the viewer, we found ourselves marveling at them for quite some time.

Oftentimes, the historical events we learn about in class seem so outrageous that it is hard to believe that they actually happened. Here, albeit a replica, we were confronted with the truth that so many people did die of the plague and their names were actually recorded. To be in the presence of such history, and such personal tragedy within history, is really an astounding feeling.

The book contains the names of people who were not unlike myself, I’m sure. People who were overtaken by one of the most sinister health crises to ever confront humanity. It’s easy for the mind to run wild with a typical day in the lives of the people in this book. To imagine how much their lives were changed by the onset of the plague. Chilling.

St. George’s Basilica.

Parts of this building date as far back as 920. Much of the architecture of Prague Castle, and Prague in general, is cohesive. We tend to think wood, materials that look like wood, orange roofs, and a rustic Eastern/Central European style in general. 

St George’s Basilica is in the Romanesque style, which is what makes it stand out to me as being interesting. The walls are very thick and sturdy. They are not at all dainty, and have a stoic feeling to them. It seems as though you are going centuries back the deeper that you go into the church. One of the most striking features is the sense of clean or purity one feels from the white stones and arched windows high up, which help the rooms. I’ve never been to Italy and I have no idea what Romanesque style is. However, from the minute I stepped into this church I got the feeling of being in an Italian church.

St. Vitus Cathedral.

Perhaps Hamilton can thank St Vitus for its success. After all, he is the patron saint of entertainers (actors and dancers.) He is a martyr and patron saint of Bohemia and thus his tomb, among other impressive and important relics, live permanently inside of the cathedral. The cathedral is massive and dwarfs all of the buildings, and especially the people, surrounding it. 

From beginning to end, its construction has taken 600 years. Its reliefs, intricate architecture, ornately adorned chapels, and stained windows will humble you. This cathedral is indeed one of the images most synonymous with the city of Prague.

Torture Chamber.

When you see the skeleton hanging in the front of the entrance, you have indeed reached the right (or utterly wrong) place. A gruesome display of equipment used to maim and pain dissidents and prisoners is on display here. All I have to say is that, as corrupt as the US’s justice system can be, at least we’re centuries ahead of this shit! Nearly every piece of ghastly torture equipment that you have seen in horror and history movies is on display here. Let your imagination run wild, and craft stories in your head as you peruse all of the macabre equipment. Or, if you’re like me, clutch your stomach as you meander through and hope that the end of the display comes quickly.

Don’t forget to stop for some Czech cuisine while you sight see around Prague! Maybe even grab a pork knee!?