Island Showdown in Panama: Bocas del Toro Edition

Most people do not flock to Central America for the cities. However, as far as capital cities go in this part of the world, Panama City in the country of Panama is actually my favorite of the ones I’ve visited so far. But, when visiting Panama, you don’t travel all that way just to see the city, do you? No, when you see Panama on your social media feed, you see photos of clear water, starfish, hammocks, and crudely built beach huts for sleeping. Basically, what you’re seeing is island life in Panama. And the two most popular island escapes are Bocas Del Toro and The Guna Yala (San Blas Islands).

You’ve heard of the WWE. Well, welcome to the WWT (Wandering Why Traveler) Smackdown Series. This or that?

Both island adventures belong to the heavyweight category—that is to say, they are incredibly popular among travelers. Thinking of doing both? Trying to choose only one? This week, I bring on the first contender: Bocas Del Toro.

What Is Bocas del Toro and Where Is It?

Google it. This isn’t an almanac.

What’s to Love.

The Familiarity.

• Bocas del Toro is so far away from home, but it feels neighborly and communal. It’s perfect for taking walks, and the beautifully colored houses are a treat for the eyes. The people—both locals and tourists—are laid back, and no one is ever without a smile. Bocas del Toro reminds me of a smaller Key West.

  

  Unique Bars.

• A bar that is also a bookstore? Check. 

  

• Bars with swings that let you drift over the water, which spans for miles? Check. 

  

• A bar that floats in the middle of the water and plays live music? Check.

  

• A bar with a trampoline and hammocks? Check. 

  

Zany. Kooky. Lively. You are sure to find a memorable place to grab a drink in Bocas del Toro.

The Accommodation Options.

The Aqua Lounge Hostel is very popular in terms of lodging, but if you read about my hostel experience in Panama City, you’ll know why I’m no fan of hostels.

Instead, we stayed in Koko Acqua Lodge. It was super rustic and bare-bones, but it kept us away from the noise and revelry of town. It was the perfect spot to relax, and I really did feel like we were at the end of the Earth. I felt that I could not possibly be farther from home. The American couple who owns the place invited us into their home for breakfast and coffee every morning, so it felt very much like a local experience. For an experience like no other, I highly recommend staying here. 

Palmar is a really popular resort for couples and families. It even has reasonable dorm-style rooms for backpackers for around $10 U.S. dollars a night. The resort mixes the best of the beach and jungle, and it really takes the zen theme to the highest degree. More below.

The Beaches.

• • Red Frog Beach/Palmar/Bastimentos: We took a quick boat ride here for lunch and relaxation at the Palmar Beach Lodge. Palmar feels as though you are a castaway on a deserted island, but under the best of circumstances. The beach is flawless and not usually packed. The restaurant, bar, and hotel rooms are situated among the jungle. The rooms range from dorm-style to tent among the trees to luxurious. Yoga classes, hiking, and bonfires are offered in case the crashing of the waves and blissful nature aren’t enough to help you chill out. 

    

• • Starfish Beach: If you want uninterrupted access to starfish in the wild, naturally, this is the place for you to visit! The water is the perfect temperature, completely clear, and incredibly calm. You can gaze at the “stars” to your heart’s content! Learn from my mistake, however. I was a bit of a traveling douche and picked up a starfish (keeping it underwater) to take a photo. An officer politely reminded me that touching is not allowed. I should have known better, and I refrained from picking up any more of the cool critters. However, five minutes after I received a warning, I kid you not, a man trudged behind me yelling, “Look at ’em all!” He carried no less than 40 starfish in his arms conspicuously! He was yelling in glee with excitement and not a word from the starfish police! Unbelievable. 

    

    

  • Bocas Blended.

If you love delicious smoothies and pretending that you are a hippie, stop by this blue bus called Bocas Blended. Sit at one of the high chairs on the side of the bus and order breakfast, a smoothie, fresh juice, a wrap, lunch, or a little snack.

What’s Not to Love.

The Plane Ride.

We took a plane to the Bocas, and it was a total of one hour’s travel time, which was not bad. However, the plane was SO SMALL. In fact, it was SO tiny that, after we put our luggage on the scale at the airport, WE had to stand on the scale to make sure the plane could fly with our weight! I’m pretty thick, but…come on. I’m afraid of flying as it is. This super small flight had me crying hysterically while we were in the air. It didn’t help that we flew through a storm. 

Safety.

In terms of catcalling, stares, and even being followed, Panama is rife. Advances never felt threatening, but they did get incredibly annoying after a while. Walking at night and being hit on or followed can definitely feel uncomfortable. With the bars and clubs in Bocas del Toro, drunk men are bound to be out and on the prowl. As a woman, use the same precautions you would use when traveling anywhere. Avoid walking home at night. Just take cabs. They’re literally a dollar to get to most places, and if the fare is more, it’s not by much. In my experience, plenty of men in Panama tend to mistake any act of kindness as a desire to screw, so be clear and purposeful in your actions.

Top Memories.

Starfish Beach.

Being able to see starfish up close and not contending with throngs of other people trying to see them was a huge win. In fact, we stayed the ENTIRE day!

Wine and Cheese.

Late one night after dinner and bar hopping, we stopped at a convenience store that happened to serve my favorite snack of all time: wine and cheese! We went to our dark, over-water bungalow, sliced up the cheese, put it on a plate with some crackers, and headed to the end of the dock. Then we noshed ferociously and drank our wine straight from the bottle, becoming completely obliterated. We only decided it was time to go home when we were treated to the view of a couple getting busy through their brightly lit window in front of us. We laughed so hard that we cried. This is easily one of my favorite travel memories. 

La Iguana.

I really love this little bar, especially at nighttime. Despite how much I drank that evening (are you sensing a theme here?), I recall sitting on the back deck with my feet in well-lit turquoise water and looking down at the starfish beneath me. With a cigarette smoldering in one hand and a mystery mixed drink in the other, I had a conversation about God knows what in Spanglish with a bouncer. Whatever I said made this otherwise stoic giant laugh a few times, which made me feel pretty accomplished. On the particular night that we went, this was a very chill and fun place to grab a drink and relax. 

Drunk Dinner.

One night, we had dinner overlooking the water. It was a relaxed yet very special affair because the view as the sun went down was astonishing. Our server recommended that we start with some drinks—nothing unusual there—and we chose our poison. Halfway through our drinks, we became cross-eyed and could not stop laughing. Everything in the world seemed funny to us. When our waiter brought over a giant chalkboard that had the specials written on it, we cried our eyes out from laughter. I have no idea what kind of liquor was in our drinks, but it’s safe to say that we each only had one.

Dollar Cab Rides.

Whenever we wanted to travel from our hotel in a more quiet area to Bocas town, and didn’t want to walk, we took a cab. The cab ride every time was A DOLLAR. How can you beat that?

This was always the case, until one night when our driver announced confidently that our fare would be two dollars. This was incredibly awkward and funny at the same time. I knew for a fact that the price was not two dollars, but at the same time, would my world stop turning for paying the guy two dollars? I didn’t want him to think I didn’t know any better and could be ripped off. BUT, at the same time, imagine being the American who gets into a fight with a cab driver in the developing world over one dollar? That wouldn’t be something I would be proud of. I just sucked it up and gave it to him.

So, I’ll say that usually cabs are a dollar.

Thud.

This is the hardest I have ever laughed in my life. We were walking down a dock next to two boats that were packed with people heading to Red Frog Beach. A drunk man fell in love with my best friend, Amanda. (This literally always happens.)

The man climbed out of the boat and began loudly singing to her and putting on a show. I should add that he was shirtless. Did I mention he was drunk? Severely drunk, like, wasted. The boats of people watched him sing and shimmy his heart out. You know when you’re embarrassed for someone? This felt like that, only worse. I turned and walked away grinning. It was hysterical, but I wanted no part in his making an ass out of himself.

Seconds later, I heard the loudest thump of my life. I thought a bomb went off. This guy slipped on the dock and landed so hard that the tourists started taking photos and freaking out. The three of us had created an impromptu performance that was now being taped and photographed. I was angry to be a part of it, but also laughing so hard and couldn’t help myself. “Did you push him, Amanda? That wasn’t very nice!” I yelled. She obviously didn’t push him, but it added to the height of the drama.

His thud was so unexpected that even he laughed along. “I’m okay, I’m okay,” he said, still following Amanda down the dock and begging for her number. I realized he was missing a few teeth from the fall! She gave him a fake number and we scurried away. He looked like a man who, despite busting his ass in front of dozens of people and losing some chompers, had accomplished something important. If a man doesn’t bust his ass on a dock and pursue you in spite of losing his teeth in said fall, he’s not worthy, sis. 

I tend to attract weirdos like it’s my job. Really, I am the Pied Piper of lunatics. Read this hair-raising story about the weird couple in Bulgaria!

Logistics.

I’m not good at logistics, so I’ll leave this website here for you to peruse.

What do you think? Any interest in heading to Bocas del Toro? After writing this, I remembered how unique the island is and how much I loved it. I’m hoping to get back sooner rather than later. Don’t forget to check out the contender post about the Guna Yala Islands!