Hotel Not Hotel and Kevin Bacon in Amsterdam

Searching for accommodations in Amsterdam was the most difficult time I’ve had searching for lodging ANYWHERE in my travels. Evidently, it seemed as though finding a reasonably priced hotel room close to the center of the city would have been akin to a miracle. I scoured the internet and guide books for a hotel, hostel, AirBnB, SOMEPLACE to sleep.

The one place that I didn’t consider, until the eleventh hour, was a “not hotel.” 

What is a “not hotel” you may be wondering? I’m a great person to ask. Two years ago, I sat at my computer scratching my head and wondering the same thing, until I finally booked a stay at Hotel Not Hotel, and got to experience it myself. Here’s how that went:

The Hotel That’s Not A Hotel.

Hotel Not Hotel is located a short walking distance from the Witte de Withstraat tram stop. The area is quiet and has a few “coffee shops” and coffee shops. Every building in the Witte de Withstraat is built from the same muted red brick. There’s no outstanding beauty, no flowing canals and lit bridges, but we didn’t plan on spending much time meandering near our lodging anyway.

One of the first things that you’re bound to notice entering Hotel Not Hotel is the absolute zaniness of the place. After we arrived in the early in the morning, we reached the reception desk and were greeted by a sign that remarked about there being some kind of invisible receptionist working behind the counter. Looking around, we weren’t sure if we were in a modern art studio, or hallucinogenic substance induced daydream.

We had not, to my knowledge anyway, consumed any magic mushrooms, but it certainly felt as though we were embarking on a psilocybin exploit. The decor of the Hotel Not Hotel is never quite as it seems. A wall of fake grass suddenly swings open revealing a room inside. The small tram car in the middle of the building surprisingly houses sleeping guests. It’s a trip down Wonderland’s rabbit hole.

A receptionist appeared behind the counter, and was the most helpful person I’ve ever had the pleasure of working with. As much as Amanda and I travel, our street smarts are not yet fully developed. We’re still in that age of womanhood where we feel the urge to politely smile and agree with people so as to not get raped and killed by upsetting them.

Exploring Amsterdam.

You could tell us both that you have the London Bridge in your trunk, and we’d hand over our credit cards to avoid having to give an impolite and awkward “no thanks.” With that being said, we needed a painstakingly grotesque level of hand holding when it came to navigating the city of vices that we had arrived in. Thankfully, the receptionist was up for the grueling task. He was not only a great ambassador for the “not hotel”, but an exceptional one for the city.

His level of explanation and help had us feeling very confident. From that morning on, we navigated Amsterdam like professionals. Being comfortable using the public transportation and “getting around” made us feel entirely at home nearly from the jump. This is the only city in the entire world where I would feel totally comfortable traveling around and taking the public transportation by myself. So, cheers to that guy!

The Wackiest Rooms in the World.

Staying at the Hotel Not Hotel feels a lot like living in an awesome commune. The guests always seem happy enough that they have the effect of looking as though they’re floating above the ground as they walk. No one is every without a smile. The creative and limitless aesthetic of the hotel certainly helps one to feel free and open minded.

You might enjoy staying in an Amsterdam tram car in the middle of the building. Not your thing? Don’t worry, there’s plenty of places to lay your head including a Volkswagen, an “invisible room”, a room made of cubes, poison ivy themed rooms, and many more to choose from. It’s important to note, the bathrooms in Hotel Not Hotel are communal, but the level of cleanliness is stellar!

The Bookcase Room and Shower Gate.

Our room was hidden behind a secret book case! As cool as this was, you can imagine how absolutely impossible it was to find our room when coming home in the early morning hours after drowning ourselves in all of the vices that Amsterdam has to offer. It made for some really funny moments though!

Our room had a very comfortable bed, and even a cornered shower. Sure, it was a tight fit, but we were only sleeping there and there was plenty of room to get ready for us both. On our first evening, I tried to use the corner shower. When I turned it on, the hose was pointed facing the room and began spraying everywhere, soaking all of our belongings and bed.

After trying to turn it off and with no success, I ran away to the other side of the room. Both of us were laughing so hard that tears poured out of our eyes. I was focused on relieving the pain in my sides from absolute hysterics before turning the water off. Needless to say, our room was a disaster area that night.

There was no air conditioner in the book case room. Some nights we just slept with the door open when it got too hot (if we slept at all.) I swear, Amsterdam was a series of returning home at four in the morning and being up at seven in the morning for sight seeing. The whirring, small, fan above our bed provided a decent level of cool when we actually did sleep.

Kevin Bacon:

Let’s talk about Kevin Bacon.

The Hotel Not Hotel runs an exceptional Thai restaurant next door titled, for seemingly no reason, “Kevin Bacon.”

One of my first international trips was taking a Contiki trip with my husband to Thailand. The thing about visiting Thailand, especially with a Contiki group, is that you spend every day of your life trying to find Thai food that is even close to the array of cuisine that you experienced eating in Thailand.

After returning home from the trip in 2016, I was adamant about finding cuisine which was true to the authentic food that I had during my travel experience. Two years of searching later, I found my “white whale” at Kevin Bacon. With exceptional Pad Thai and a cold Chang beer, I was transported back to the sunny, hot, days or roaming around Bangkok and the northern region of Thailand. This was definitely one of my most favorite meals in Amsterdam, period.

For a fully immersive Amsterdam experience… you NEED to stay at the Hotel Not Hotel!