As a new parent or guardian, you will want to enjoy all of the things that you used to love, and why shouldn’t you!? My husband and I began taking our son out to eat when he was around four weeks old. While things didn’t always go perfectly, I have kept a list of what has worked for us. The items on this list may help if you’re planning to dine out with your baby or toddler, too.
Start acclimating your child to your lifestyle as soon as possible. Always check with your child’s doctor before bringing your children into public spaces at first, especially with COVID-19 still wreaking havoc.
These tips worked for us, but they may not be suitable for children with special or specific needs. If I have any families with children with special needs who would love a platform for sharing tips and articles, reach out!
Note: I’m using stock photos as opposed to real photos of my son. I’m working to limit his digital footprint in my posts about children’s behavior. Thank you for understanding!
What to Pack.
- A flask in case you need to drink under the table or in the bathroom due to stress
- Milk (breast/cow/goat—I don’t care), water, or juice
- Three binkies (you’ll see why)
- Two toys from home that baby loooooooves (to create a sense of familiarity)
- A special toy that baby ONLY gets at restaurants
- Blanket
- Stroller cover to make the carriage dark in case baby sleeps
- The normal stuff (diapers, medicine, bib—I suggest an overnight diaper as its more absorbent)
- Food:
— In a perfect world, your meal will line up with baby’s meal, but I ask you, WHEN DOES THAT ACTUALLY HAPPEN?
— Bring snacks for baby (Gerber puffs, sliced fruit or cheese, 1 oz of purée). If your baby isn’t on solids yet, a fun new juice will do the trick!
The First Few Times.
I don’t recommend indoor dining for the first few times you go out to eat with your baby. It’s nerve-wracking and…germs. Try a picnic, dinner at a friend’s house, or outdoor dining somewhere.
These types of places allow for little judgment and a quick escape if your child starts throwing a bad fit. When our son was four weeks old, we brought him out to eat, and we did outdoor dining. I loved that I could wheel him a few feet away and rock him in a stroller when he fussed instead of doing the walk of shame through a fancy restaurant.
Dining not an option right now? Try a friend’s house! It gets the baby used to a new environment and introduces them to the concept of people around him or her, being engaged in (usually loud) conversation. Still pack what is on the above list even if you are “just” heading to a friend’s house for dinner. Practice using the items during meltdowns, and create a sense of familiarity and excitement with the toys.
Before You Go.
It sounds stupid, but do it anyway.
No matter how small your child is, build the hype when you dine out with your baby. Clap your hands and tell your little one how EXCITING it is to be eating at a RESTAURANT! Put the biggest grin on, and talk about it for at least an hour before you go—the sooner the better. Tell your baby all of your favorite parts of going out for a bite to eat. Babies can sense your stress, so by doing the opposite of stressing, you’re creating a FUN and CALM vibe.
Keep up the hype on your drive to the restaurant and as you walk into the building to be seated. No one likes surprises, not even two-month-old babies. So, don’t be skimpy on the play by play. “Oh my goodness, do you see the sign that says, ‘Trattoria?! It’s red and shiny! That’s where we’re going!’”
Do Your Research.
No outing with a baby is done on a whim. Eating is no different, and if you want to dine out with your baby, it will take some planning and thought. But, it’s worth it because planning increases your chances of having an enjoyable experience.
I’m all about bringing my baby to grown-up restaurants. He’s eaten with us late at night during live music sessions, and I’m not sure if that makes me a shitty mom or an awesome mom. However, from personal experience…I would avoid truly fine dining. Fine dining is not even fun for adults, so I doubt your kid will like it.
Don’t be afraid to call restaurants and ask for their opinion on bringing your _____ month old into the restaurant at such and such a time. I did this constantly through my son’s first year. Search photos of the seating, and read reviews about the noise level and the type of clientele that visits. For instance, I wouldn’t feel comfortable bringing my child to a brunch place with a ton of rowdy frat bros around us. But, I might not know that the place caters to rowdy frat bros if I don’t read the reviews, savvy?
Get Over It.
See all those interesting appetizer choices and dessert options? Now wave goodbye. In my opinion, you don’t want to be sitting in a restaurant for very long. That’s extra time for more delicious food, but it’s also extra time in a new environment where meltdowns and discomfort can occur. Everyone has limits, and your baby’s might not be three hours. When you dine with your baby, jump straight into drinks and the meal.
The Plan.
For babies: See how they do in their car seat or stroller without being taken out. Give them one “familiar” toy and one “special restaurant toy.” Don’t forget, babies LOVE shit that isn’t even real toys. Cloth napkin? Hand it over and watch the glee in their eyes. If you have a toddler, do the next step right away.
The “special restaurant” toy should buy some time. If it’s something that your child has never seen before, and only gets to play with when going out to eat, he or she will build a positive association. “Going to this big, noisy place means I get my special toy!”
When my son would start getting restless in his seat, it was always because he had FOMO! He desperately wanted to be involved in everything happening. As soon as I took him out and put him on my lap or in the high chair, he was bubbly and happy! Here’s how to make your little one feel included:
- Read the menu to your baby.
- Ask questions with that same fake hype: “Maison, what do you think about all of the people in here? Have you ever seen so many people?”
- The cloth napkin never disappoints…just saying.
- Put their pacifier in the ice-cold water and shove it in their mouth. Works WONDERS for teething babes.
- Introduce him or her to your server.
- If he or she is old enough, order them a little snack or let them try your food.
Meltdowns.
Oh, there will be a day when your kid absolutely loses it in the middle of the restaurant. Here’s my procedure.
Stage One: Restlessness/Warning Signs of a Tantrum
What to do: Try the above tricks. Be on the lookout for normal baby cues.
Rubbing eyes → Put a cover over the stroller and go rock baby to sleep outside while you wait for food.
Maybe it’s a dirty diaper? → Do the Sniff/Squeeze test.
Perhaps he or she is hungry? → Get the snacks.
My favorite trick is called the Binky Swap. This only works if your child loves his or her pacifier. My child always has one binky available, but he is in his glory when I present him with a box that has—GASP—two OTHER binkies in it! He could spend an hour swapping them around in his mouth. Try it!
I’ll be honest – getting your baby or toddler to behave in a restaurant is a hit or miss. However, in the countless times we’ve taken our little one out to eat, I can count on one hand the number of truly “bad” experiences that we’ve had. If you put in the work, and stay a few steps ahead, you will increase your chances of having a great time.
Before you panic, try these steps. There are about 20 different things you can do to stop a melt down in its tracks before you’re forced to leave and give up. Don’t ignore your child, and be mindful of early cues that he or she is unhappy.
My best advice is treat your child as a real guest who is out to eat with you. Would you like to be out to dinner with two people who ignore you constantly? No. Your child does not either.
Stage Two: Increasingly Fussy/Rubbing Eyes/Sniffling/Crying
What to do: The Bribe. I call this the bribe because it’s for desperate situations. Four hundred Gerber puffs? Sure. A cup of ice cream? Yes, just be quiet. Screen time on a low noise level, or with no noise? Absolutely. This can usually buy you some time. It’s good for if you’re waiting for the check, or finishing your meal.
Stage Three: Meltdown Is Sure to Commence Any Moment Now.
What to do: Lost cause. Do Step B, get your food to go, and pay the check. Ideally, have another adult take your kid out ASAP. Never let your kid scream it out at a restaurant.
A Note About Onlookers.
If you have done your research, then you’ve made NO ERROR in bringing your child to a restaurant, EVEN IF he or she has the meltdown of the century. Remember, if people stare, it’s more than likely not because they’re mad. People usually stare at things that are out of the ordinary, and you do it too! We don’t expect people to cry or be in distress during dinner, but if you saw someone doing just that, you probably wouldn’t ignore it—you’d at least be curious as to what was happening.
If someone is staring at you, ignore them. If you feel inclined, as you walk out, mouth “sorry” or give a little wave. But, I would honestly say nothing. Apologies are for when you’ve done something wrong. And having a child who acted…well, like a child, hardly warrants an apology to anyone, permitting that you remove the child promptly.
Now you know what steps to take if you want to dine out with your baby or toddler. Want more tips for acclimating your child to your lifestyle? Check out my list of travel books for babies here.
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